when they all fall
like a million raindrops
falling from a blue sky
kissing your cares goodbye
they all fall
like a million pieces
a ticker tape parade high
and now you're free to fly
--newsboys.
archive
tunes
+god of wine - third eye blind
+understanding in a car crash
- thursday
+in years to come - thrice
+no me ames
- jennifer lopez/marc anthony
+take me away - lifehouse
+sleeping weather
- small brown bike
+sing for the moment - eminem
+thank you - the katinas
+gossip folks - missy elliot
+landslide - dixie chicks
+miss you - aaliyah
+better than this
- onelinedrawing
+swiss army romance
- dashboard confessional
+letter to myself - furthermore
+Wanksta - 50 cent
+what it is to burn - finch
+ghost man on third
- taking back sunday
+satisfaction - eve
+pride war
- further seems forever
+joe's sick - slick shoes
+without you - LaRue
+this bitter pill
- dashboard confessional
-- Stay silent about your inner conflicts, and you'll end up speaking them alone. So speak up. --
Thursday, February 13
Here is my ode to Caitlin.
Thank you Caitlin
for fully introducing me
to the music of
Dashboard Confessional.
I am so sore...my whole body aches, my neck is SO STIFF!!!!!!!! and I somehow miraculously have to work tomorrow. and finish my essay tonight. and I have to wake up at 5:30 in the morning to drive my dad to Royal Alex...great. my body is so sore.....ahhhhhhh.... elaine 7:15 PM
Sunday, February 9
p.s. here's the thing. it would be so SCANDALOUS if I had gone out and enjoyed life somewhere else after high school and just paused on education. Because, hello?! I'm asian....trust me, if it had happened, all adults would have looked at my parents and been like, tsk, tsk, you certainly did something wrong raising your child. what a rebellious child, she mustn't understand the value of education. -insert smirk- We as parents are so much better then you, my daughter is in med school, and my son just graduated from law school, and my youngest has the highest average in her grade in high school.... Then to me they would think of me as this evil child with no respect for education or for my parents.
I SO do not like Korean adults.... elaine 10:33 PM
do you know what I want to do? NOT live in Edmonton, go out somewhere, most likely with Naomi, just get a job and work for a year, in a new environment, something completely different. Like for example, move to some huge city in the states, or somewhere tropical. Now how fun would that be? Meet so many new people, make new friends, live somewhere so different for a whole year. WHY IN THE WORLD AM I NOT DOING EXACTLY THAT?!?! Why am I whittling my precious years away here going to school, day in day out, stressing and having to just be in this environoment. (well the one that my brother also inhabits) Why am I so anxious for a career? Why did I plan out my whole life?! I need something different, something spontaneous. I regret at this moment going into university. Not saying that a post-secondary education is not important, because rest assured I so think it is. But I have time. Why rush? This is how I should have done it: graduate from high school, then go out into the world, get some job in some wicked place for a year, like New Zealand, come back home, and then go do it again, in some different place. then in due time come back and go to school. There are so many people out there who have planned to stay in school for 7+ years, then get their great paying job of which they do deserve for their dedication and hard work, then start on their careers. So many say that after they get their degree, then they'll go out and explore the world. but how likely is that? not at all. These people will have wasted their whole twenties, such a precious time in your life, jailed by school. Yes, they will get the mega paying jobs, but I don't know....losing that those years... I understand though, for some people a thought of going out and seeing the world hasn't even surfaced in their minds, because from the start their focus in life has been school and getting that job. I guess I do respect that desire and determination. But this is about me. and well I'm getting antsy. What I'm doing right now, I've been doing for the past three years. Yes, university is different from high school, but the entrapment still exists, the limits are still there. I mean, how possibly in the world could two years off hurt me? I could have gone out, lived on my own or with a friend and just explored life. Ahhhhhhhhhhh.
But then again, you can't reverse the events and decisions that have already happened... and I do believe everything happens for a purpose. I can tell you this though....after four years here in Edmonton at the U of A, after I get that degree, trust me, the chances of me ending up in Austrailia or Barbados are very high. If I can't have my fun now, I'll have it later. No need to jump right into my career, something that will encompass me for the rest of my life anyways, well unless a job is handed to me on a silver platter that is...
I feel trapped. and I hope that feeling goes away. Maybe the wait won't be too bad. I mean four years is going to whiz by. elaine 10:26 PM
