when they all fall
like a million raindrops
falling from a blue sky
kissing your cares goodbye
they all fall
like a million pieces
a ticker tape parade high
and now you're free to fly
--newsboys.
archive
tunes
+god of wine - third eye blind
+understanding in a car crash
- thursday
+in years to come - thrice
+no me ames
- jennifer lopez/marc anthony
+take me away - lifehouse
+sleeping weather
- small brown bike
+sing for the moment - eminem
+thank you - the katinas
+gossip folks - missy elliot
+landslide - dixie chicks
+miss you - aaliyah
+better than this
- onelinedrawing
+swiss army romance
- dashboard confessional
+letter to myself - furthermore
+Wanksta - 50 cent
+what it is to burn - finch
+ghost man on third
- taking back sunday
+satisfaction - eve
+pride war
- further seems forever
+joe's sick - slick shoes
+without you - LaRue
+this bitter pill
- dashboard confessional
-- Stay silent about your inner conflicts, and you'll end up speaking them alone. So speak up. --
Friday, November 29
still thinking...
you know what? i don't go out much. i actually have no life. no for real. i am so boring. but you know what is really weird? i'm not bummed about it, or stressing because i think i am a loser. nope. i'm just inspired, well something along the line of that, to go out and have some fun. as long as it doesn't hurt anyone or myself, i'll be fine. i'm not saying i'm going to go out and make a mess out of my life, by abandoning the priorities like school, family and work. but what i am saying is that i need to start living life. i have to stop being so lazy around the house on the weekdays, do the school stuff during that time, and then have fun on the weekend. i can't believe it's one in the morning and i have figured this out now. i need to start being the life of a party... (i sound hilarious.) well this is all going to start after finals, but that's only like two weeks from now. so, caitlin i'm going to stop this dissing out on you because i am tired and whatnot. and now that you're going to be 18 lina, we can start having some fun. and then later in the spring...i might be driving my own vehicle, which will make life much more easier too. aren't you guys all excited? i've decided to be social! hahahahahahahaha.
i know school is important, and our university years is going to somewhat determine our future, but also one only experiences these after high school years once in their lives. you have only once chance in being young and having some fun! (haha, that rhymes!) so, whenever i seem to want to opt out, remind me: that i am being gay and to just go out and have fun.
watch out girls. there is going to be a new me! well somewhat....hahahahahaha. i crack myself up with all this shit talk. teehee. elaine 12:15 AM
Thursday, November 28
beagle bear
i need a new look. because i am sick of my look. well head up i mean. =| blah. so, don't be surprised if the next time you see me, i have pink hair. or no hair at all. pfft. elaine 7:45 PM
Wednesday, November 27
no longer stressin'
you see that title? i am no longer stressing. Never been in a better mood. =) I'm going to do fine on my finals, even if doing fine consists of mad cramming on my behalf. and if i do bad on them, hopefully not "them" and just "one," it's not the end of the world. one final out of the many in the next four years of university life.
knowing you have the best friends in the world is the best feeling in the world. and guess what boys and girls? naomi is going to follow in my footsteps and break up with Mike. i know i've said this a million times, but i think this is it. after three hours on the phone and adding up all the red flags, all the signals, everything points to exactly that. she needs to break up with him. she's going to finally act on her realization that he had so much power over her, he controlled her. you watch a movie and you see the stupid blind girl who still hangs onto him with hope, and you're like break up/end things! you're in such an abusive relationship. well she finally realized that she is that stupid girl. you can't blame her though. because once you're in her shoes its so hard, and you don't realize the situation around you. because you are so caught up on the hope that things will get better. if all your loved ones: parents, friends, peers all think you should break up, it has to mean something. when all fingers point at breaking up, that has to mean something. she's finally going to be free... no longer abused, taken advantage of, controlled...
i'm so thrilled for her. =) happiness all around. elaine 10:10 PM
Monday, November 25
absolute frustration
i want to hit myself, and hard too. i just don't know what is wrong with me. will someone please hold a knife to my throat and threaten me to do my schoolwork. because i sure am not getting it done at all. i don't understand. i mean, i know i want to excel and do well at school and i know that education is important and that i did pay 100% for mine, but yet, i don't go to classes, do homework and study in advance like i'm supposed to. and i have to. because i know how i study and it takes LOTS of hours for something to stick in my brain, in other words in order for me to get a semi decent mark i have to study mad.
i need motivation.
oh and caitlin, if you can meet me anytime on wednesday, i'll have a little "please forgive me" present for you! so tell me if you can. =) the happiest day of this year will be when i am done all my finals next month... haha, and lina, next semester will totally be different! hahahahahahahaha... and caitlin, you know what i thought of? i think you should hook me up with one of your milllion boys. maybe this time around i won't get bored of him like a certain dom...eek. good times.
anyways, that is all i have to say. oh, one more thing - caitlin, i wish i had your crazie friendly outgoing skills. you know when you go up to someone you completely have never talked to before and become their friend...because there is this cute guy in my relig. class who seems really nice...ha, and what chance do i have? hahahahahahahaha.
